Phoenix Enthusiast Pillows

'When I left, Eddie's mom was arising phoenix-like.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'What will we do when the ice melts?'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

Penguin

"Of course you like like your father and me. What did you expect?"

"Bonk!"

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

'I bet this will confuse the Antarctic scientists!'

"Actually it's darling and I'm sure it would fit perfectly. It's just that I'm not a woman."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"I'm in disguise."

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

Penguin Remote

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"I’ve lost the will to slide down icy hills on my tummy."

The life of penguins.