Petty Rivalries Fan Gifts

"Does it really matter if her cloud is whiter than ours, Adriana?"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Tic-tac-toe

"Just being proactive."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Fight on the top

'I hate snowboarders!'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

The Andrews brothers had an ongoing competition of seeing who could donate a pint of blood the fastest.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"I still hate you."

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

Strikeout Dog

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

Sick Exhibitionist

David Anderson vs. Goliath

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'You were never a team player, Thornton.'

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

The Red Cat: Beagle's About/Plate of Feud/Peer Group.

'Do it again.'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."