Petty Rivalries Fan T-Shirts

"Does it really matter if her cloud is whiter than ours, Adriana?"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Tic-tac-toe

"Just being proactive."

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Fight on the top

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'I hate snowboarders!'

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

Strikeout Dog

David Anderson vs. Goliath

Sick Exhibitionist

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

I've just found out our competitors are losing money faster than we are.

'You're useless, Johnson. I like that in a rival.'

Keepy-uppy with the Joneses.

'You were never a team player, Thornton.'

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

"Nobody realized I was a man to watch until it was too late."

'It all started over who had the bigger medical file.'

The Red Cat: Beagle's About/Plate of Feud/Peer Group.

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

"Sometimes I think you guys don't want peace."

'Do it again.'