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'The frogs legs kicked the peas off the plate.'

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"How's the salmon?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

"I'm unable to process this image."

Happy hour.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"I want to set the world record for eating the most empanadas ever!"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

Boy baking a cake.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

"They're marinated in hot water for six hours."

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."