Tiny Gourmet Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I don't want to appear ungrateful but just once I'd like to eat out!"

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

Boy baking a cake.

'Pass the grey stuff.'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."