Tiny Gourmet Enthusiast Pillows

"I don't want to appear ungrateful but just once I'd like to eat out!"

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Join me for dinner?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Haute Chinese

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

Cut out and keep your own Chef

Boy baking a cake.

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"