Pet Therapist Humor Gifts

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Dogs life

Cats at private view

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."