Pet Therapist Humor Gifts

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

Cats at private view

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."