Pet Preacher Pillows

'In conclusion, it's more blessed to give than retrieve.'

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

"Projectile hairballing."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

Cat and fishing instruction

'Can you just send the digital copy?'