Spiritual Pet Trainer Pillows

Evangelist and dog trainer extraordinaire, Ernie Gumbromowitz.

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Bert's dog training.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

"Don't even think about it."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

Dog with Anchor Lead

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

There are no rats with collars...

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'Now cut that out!'