Pet Broadcaster Pillows

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

Cats at private view

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

David Attenborough's Morning

Clown walks balloon dog

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

'Now cut that out!'

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'