Bovine Broadcaster Pillows

"Moo-mooo-mooo-moo-mooo-mooo. . . And that was the moos with Dale Wisbey. . ."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

Motorherd

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

David Attenborough's Morning

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Moo! OOM!

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

'Quotes, woof, woof, woof, woof, closed quotes.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"The etchings are in the library."