Bovine Storytellers Pillows

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'She's just great with the children.'

Motorherd

Moo! OOM!

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Tarzan'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

The Cud Food Guide

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

"Moo-mooo-mooo-moo-mooo-mooo. . . And that was the moos with Dale Wisbey. . ."

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

'Not so easy, is it?'

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

They're short of staff!

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"And the endorsement deals I get for kid's merchandise is cra-azy!"

'I'm sorry, honey, but your dog Scraps has gone on to a better place now. I sold him to that family across the road with an inground pool.'