Cow Communicator Pillows

Moo! Honk! Don't stoop to their level Henry!

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"You don't whisper anymore."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"I have no thumbs."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"They’re real."

"Have you tried biting him?"

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

Pull the udder one

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.