Pet Pessimist Pillows

Kelly regretted not buying a dog.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Tom's last day.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Die alone"

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'Turned out nice again.'

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

The guy who wanted change, experience, a shoulder to cry on, and a medal, all tied up in a nice,neat package, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

This will be a banner day for you!

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

'Look at that lunatic...'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

All my silver linings have clouds around them.

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

Half Full/Half Empty

"It's a win-win to expect the worst. If I'm wrong, that's fortunate. If I'm right, I'm vindicated."