Pessimist Pillows

'The lab results came back... looks like your blood type is B-Negative.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The human condition

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Miserable Man and Happy Man

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

This will be a banner day for you!

"You really don't need a good life, just a great obituary writer."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Pessimists v Optimists.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Die alone"

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."