Pet Parent Comedies Pillows

"Oh boy, if the kitchen keeps on flooding, we might be able to escape!"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Conversation between Dogs.

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'He knows that when I eat like a hog, it's time for a jog.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

"Is our owner hot?"

"The head, the head! I told you, always support the baby's head!"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

"I like the new scratching post so much better."

"I don't see myself as just a dog. I see myself as a Complete Family Pet System."

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

Tinder for dogs

'And when you want to go to the toilet would you please bark.'

'Maybe we should rethink this new dog door.'

'Pet, we've got to talk.'

"Quick, act casual."

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

Now Wash Your Paws

"The good news is you can return that kitty litter to the store and buy yourself something pretty..."

'Of course I never take you out - I can't see you wanting to cock your leg in the park!'

'If he has worms can we take him fishing?'

'Sandra missed school today because of this appointment. Will you please write an excuse note for her?"

'You're looking well - you been on holiday?'

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

Woman in bunny slippers notices rabbit droppings.

'It's a leaf.'