Pet Owners With A Flair For Drama Gifts

"To stay in or not to stay in...."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

Cat and mouse.

'Grrrr....'

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'I hate surprises!'

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

"Bad Dog!!! You can't trust those chocolate labs."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"You stop it, now!"

"Have you seen what goes into that stuff?"

'Do you have to do that every time?'

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

'You're spoiling that dog!'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

"Who's my good widdoo headless dog?"

Goldie playing chess. Check.

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.

'TB or not TB, that is the question.'

"I think, therefore I am going to chew her new shoes."

Mixing Duty with Pleasure

Handicapped Accessible Hydrant