Pet Lover In Legal Trouble Gifts

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Separation

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

When Pugs dream.

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

Art Pets

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

Self-walking dog

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

'Yeah, I know, but let's face it - we're delicious!'