Pet Lover In Legal Trouble Pillows

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

Separation

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

Art Pets

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

When Pugs dream.

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chariot wheels.

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Self-walking dog

'Yeah, I know, but let's face it - we're delicious!'

Do not allow your owner to foul the footpath.