Dog Lover With A Legal Twist Gifts

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Gym Dog

Roget's Pet

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Grrrr....'

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Teacher's pet dog

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

"Actually I never loved you."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

Litteratti K9s.

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

Al's Teachers' Pets.