Dog Lover With A Legal Twist T-Shirts

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Gym Dog

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'Grrrr....'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Teacher's pet dog

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

"Actually I never loved you."

Litteratti K9s.

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'