Animal Lover With A Legal Twist T-Shirts

'Just as a precautionary measure; is there any way you can get rid of that mask?'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Gym Dog

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"Who's next?"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Teacher's pet dog

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Actually I never loved you."

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'Beware of SUV.'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"