Animal Lover With A Legal Twist T-Shirts

'Just as a precautionary measure; is there any way you can get rid of that mask?'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Who's next?"

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Gym Dog

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

"Actually I never loved you."

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

Teacher's pet dog

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

'Beware of SUV.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Al's Teachers' Pets.

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."