Pet Lover Gifts

"I'm a bird dog."

"All you really need in life is the love of a good cat."

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

"Mom sent us over while she gets the carpet cleaned."

"Is that all you can think about?"

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

Home Office Gossip

"I guess cats just can't appreciate Frank Gehry."

"It's a symbiotic relationship. I feed him seeds and berries, and he pecks out the eyes of my enemies."

"He followed me home! Can I keep him?"

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Fish trying to get food.

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

Mixed Doubles.

"I don't bug you about your catnip. Don't bug me about my Martinis."

'Nobody showed me what to do, so why do they expect me to do something?'

'Considering the price of natural gas vs. cat food, I calculated that it's cheaper to heat the house with the body heat of 50 cats.'

Homework: Bring Your Kitty To School. 'My dog ate my homework.'

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

'We all contributed.'

'The dog ate my tax receipts...'

'Any chance you can bite him yourself? I've really got a lot on my dish right now.'

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

Cat stuck up tree with 'You are here' sign.

Family and dog, "I think Lassie is trying to tell us something Ma"

An Emotional Support Pet's Support Pet's Support Pet.

"Abstinence!"

"Sorry Frank, but I can no longer go on with this charade. Not only am I not your best friend, I'm not even sure if I like you at all."

Man and his dog each have their own motorized scooters.

Balancing Family and Work

Balding dog