Pet Loving Gifts

'I think we deprived him an hour of human companionship today.'

"I don't mind cats, but I'm more of a dogman."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Pick me!"

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

Canine Companion

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Desert Island BBQ

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'