Animal Lover Gifts

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Son, your mother is a remarkable woman."

"'Jeopardy!' is on."

"As long as it's woolly I don't ask questions."

"For God's sake, think! Why is he being so nice to you?"

Dr. M.J. Pilkington Cosmetic Surgeon

"I like it after the holidays, when the crowds are gone."

"She was a rescue."

"The ringing in your ears-I think I can help."

Speech Therapy.

"Hold on a second. I have no idea where my ears are."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"You know, for a gazelle, you're an awful klutz!"

"I'll never be Big Bird."

"Bad news - the unicorns are gay."

"I don't fetch. I have a trust fund."

"Can I borrow those kittens for an hour? I want to freak out the people who had me spayed."

'Knee replacement huh? I'm pretty sure Thunder wasn't given that was an option.'

'I've been clean for six months now.'

"You keep him busy while I go for help."

Eye, ear, nose and throat specialist with owl, rabbit, elephant and giraffe in waiting room.

"Have you tried taking long walks?"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Then I thought, why not just take a real bath."

"Under our holistic approach, Mr. Wyndot, we not only treat your symptoms, we also treat your dog."

"Do you ever ask yourself 'humanely raised' for what?"

Cows sign 'Thank you for not tipping."

'What do you mean you're out of ice?'

Of all the penguins, Sigmund was the only one with any sense.

"Who are you kidding? You're all about small government until you get stuck in a tree."

"She's not all over you, but she gets the job done."

"Artie, they took my bowl."

"You had me at ole."