Pet Enthusiast Gifts

"I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking."

"Under our holistic approach, Mr. Wyndot, we not only treat your symptoms, we also treat your dog."

"Have your people get in touch with my people."

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

Pets.

'And this is Ginger, from my fourth marriage.'

'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'

"Beg."

Why pets need vets.

"How long have you been self-employed?"

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

"She was a sweet old lady whose kids never called."

'All I'm saying is that the 'good dog' 'bad dog' labels have a real shame-based ring to them!'

'All in favor say arf.'

'Great invention, Rex! What are you going to call it?'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

"It's not really cat. That's just a marketing gimmick."

'It's a slightly more advanced version of fetch.'

'You know, you're a very expensive employee because we have to contribute to nine retirement and life insurance plans for you.'

'Sorry, no trades. Cash only.'

'You know, you're a very expensive employee because we have to contribute to nine retirement and life insurance plans for you.'

"I think my name is 'stop that' but I don't know for sure."

'You've got more than one loyalty card? That's despicable.'

'Bad dog! Stop trying to kill the cat!'

A tough dog scratches and barks.

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

'You're loving this, aren't you?'

'...You're retired, I'm retired.'

"Of course there is. Don't forget the drippy thing."

'Stay.'

'Well, this trick has been around for five years now, so we might be able to learn it...'

Hamster doing warm-up exercises before going on the wheel.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

"To help you keep a healthy pace, I'm going to release Bruno here one minuit after you start."