Pet Fish Enthusiast Gifts

'Wow! They don't even bother giving you notice anymore before they fire you!'

To Do: Swim, Forget, Swim, Forget, Swim....

All we need is a straw and we'd have ourselves a juice pouch.

"How's that whole 'thinking outside the bow' thing working out for you now?"

Polluted Fish Tank

'I'm a Pisces.'

'Hey, buddy. . . do you mind if I crash with you for a bit? She kicked me out of the house.'

'....Just because you heard something outside, it doesn't mean you go out and check on it!'

'This wide, wonderful world you promised is making me dizzy!'

Urban sprawl rears it's ugly head in Elmer's bowl.

'You're looking well - you been on holiday?'

A goldfish in the water cooler

"Must you do that while I'm talking to you?"

Fish Tank

Horror movies

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'I don't mind being caught,it's that kissing I hate.'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Seriously, you looked so perfect that at first, I thought you were a lure..."

The Da Vinci Cod

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

'First he warms our bowl, now he's feeding us... And you thought he wasn't friendly.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Cat eats date.

"Lap fish..."

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'