Pet Adoption Gifts

'I'm not supposed to lick myself either.'

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Did you get fixed, too?'

'The faces have changed a bit, but everyone smells exactly the same.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Tourists and their Pets.

"I see a couch."

"Just think, if I keep him we'll never have leftovers again."

"Why wasn't I adopted by a middle-class family in the suburbs?"

"Dude! Have you no shame?"

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"Shh. He doesn't know he's adopted yet."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"He's got no teeth, Einstein. Besides, he's a vegetarian."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Party Favor Cat

"Happy birthday, dear! It's a pair of socks."

"All the good ones are neutered."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Because I'm curious. What's your excuse?"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"What the? ... Where’d the? ... How’d ya? ... Get down here!"

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"Seriously? 'Stalin'? That's what you want to name him?"

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"I was just trying to be nice when I said their min-pin was cute and that I wanted one. It didn't mean anything."

"She has these fantasies that she ‘rescued’ me, and I just let her believe it."

"Sometimes I wonder who 'rescued' whom?"

"Great Party! I've already popped about 50 balloons!"