Pest Sympathizer Gifts

"Why won’t anyone play with me? I’m so very sad, all alone in this great big world. Why must I suffer?"

"Yes!" "Excellent!" The Daily Bug City considers pesticides ban

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'Geoffrey's Tourette's is acting up.'

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

"Roaches, rats, mice, fleas, silverfish… we're all the family of vermin."

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Dog dreams of sleeping in masters chair.

"What I want for Christmas is to have the day off and watch 'Miracle on 34th Street'."

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

Outward bound/Homeward bound.

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

It's 9 a.m. and I've already offed hundreds of aphids � Decimated dozens of beetles and slain seven slugs. But Nana, you're disturbing nature's balance. When it comes to garden pests � Biodiversity is way overrated.

''Have you got any cockroaches?"

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

Sorry to hear about your accident.

Innocent Civilians

'Don't worry Vicar. He's only looking at you like that because you're eating off his plate...'

'Spinning the web is the fun part, after that, it's just waiting and waiting for a catch...'