Pest Philosophizers Pillows

"There's a rumor - which I don't believe - that there are more people than rats in this city."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Cat Reunion

"Yes, one is a dog."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Bees v Wasps

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Dogs are men."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

The Inner Dog.

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

"Cat got your tongue?"

Fish Food

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

"You need a hobby."

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

"These dizzy spells, I have a theory."

Nursery - Products That Help Things Grow... Products That Kill Things.