Pest Defender T-Shirts

Deer are ruining your garden. I can't stand hurting them. You don't mind bashing squirrels, smashing slugs or trapping groundhogs. But deer are sooo adorable. Oh, great. Survival of the cutest.

A woman has mini scarecrows in here flower garden.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'I found the termites!'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

Insect extinction

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

Save the termites.

Product Testing Department

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Could we fleas get fleas of our own?'

Fish with Shield

"It's a very effective scarecrow."

Pest controller tries to catch old woman who is exacerbating the problem by feeding birds.

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

Rest distracted by moles.

"We have a termite problem."

". . . be very quiet. . . I'm gonna catch that varmint."

'The mosquitoes have been just awful this year!'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

"Eh, who cares if climate change is killing birds? I'll just make more."

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

'Hello? Animal control?'