Pessimism Management Gifts

The Ekert Saga: 'Ok, girls...we need to get the Ekert back down to reasonable size before it destroys out house...so no more TV, radio, or any other negative energy...'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Worry tank

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Pessimists v Optimists.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

Doom & Gloom

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"Everything in your life has gone smoothly. That's a violation of Murphy's law."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"Die alone"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Must you always be so negative?