Pessimism Fans Gifts

'I'm afraid things have to get worse before they can get even worse.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Pessimists v Optimists.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

Tom's last day.

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

Things can only get worse...

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

'We made it, Happy New Year.'

'There goes Mr. Negativity.'

This will be a banner day for you!

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

The end of the world is nigh.

All my silver linings have clouds around them.