Perspiration Philosophers Pillows

"Our staff here at the practice believe in 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration, so I had these showers installed."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'I know it's a bit unusual, but that's where he gets all the best ideas.'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"Hydro density appartus invention? Go away - I'm not disturbing his bath for that!"

An idea box in a shower

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

Rutger Shower

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

The King In The Rain.

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'It's been a rough day, my shirt button fell off, the handle of my brief case came off... I'm too scared to go to the bathroom!'

Man trapped in bubble from bubble bath.

Vanity artist

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Everyone has a good novel inside them.

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

"I have to admit, Donald is a little possessive."

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

"High Pressure Area"

'I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Shocked bather sees space-time singularity forming in bathtub drain.

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

'The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.'

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

Nature is not perfect

If toilets could talk

Prehistoric Graffito