Pressure Philosopher Pillows

"Lately, I've been under A LOT of pressure."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

Critical Ethanol report

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

Fuels paradise.

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

Entropy Seminar.

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

TSA Lines

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

The oil crisis.

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

"If you ask me, physics is more art than science."

'When did you last have your pressure checked?'

"Well, I admire your resilience."

String Theory

"Now, you may feel a little pressure..."

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

'You are 14st 3lb..But then, you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.'

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."