Personal Space Commentator Gifts

"And now, sadly for both of us, I have to invade your personal space."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Club Antisocial

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.