Public Space Commentator Gifts

Reach out and touch someone.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

Sports Radio in Crisis

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Entering Washington, DC. Today's Polticial Atmosphere is TOXIC.

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Back to Normal

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

Chess on TV

The United States of Amazement

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"This is gonna be great!"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Please disregard the previous message about the imminent collapse of the global economy'