Personal Space Commentator Pillows

Club Antisocial

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

"It's only fair. He has a man cave."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"This is gonna be great!"

The United States of Amazement

Chess on TV

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Actually, we will replace you."

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.

Voice of the GOP