Personal Injury Lawyers Gifts

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"What's a patent?"

Campaign for Plain English

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Changing Minds

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Wal-Mart Ruling

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'