Injury Attorney Gifts

'He left his card. He's a lawyer gathering people for a low-class class action suit.'

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

I love Lawyers

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'