Injury Lawyer Gifts

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Changing Minds

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

Wal-Mart Ruling

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'