Injury Lawyer Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm willing to rehire you, if you drop the lawsuit. If that sounds good, blink twice."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

Wal-Mart Ruling

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

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"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

Baby's first words.

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'