Personal Care Product Disbeliever Pillows

'Why are you using a tooth paste that relieves itching and burning while it shrinks swollen membranes?'

Self help acupuncture

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

Dating is so expensive...

"That can't be right. How'd you work 15 hours in on day?"

New Twenty Blades

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

"Multi-level marketing!"

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

Sorry, the beard is at an awkward stage

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'And with this model we'll throw in free a self-basting attachment!'

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

"There's the bell for respite. . . I mean, recess."

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"He spends most of his time outside. I have to force him to come in and play with something electronic."

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"No thanks. I'm a junk food cleanse this week."

Beauty regime

A woman with a green face mask sits next to an alien

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

Rubber Duck Has Made A Nest

"The improvement is the higher price."