Miracle Product Skeptic Pillows

Bald hairdresser recomending hair restoring lotion

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Tiny Visions

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

I.T. Fear

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Privacy

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!