Persistent Suitor Chuckler Gifts

I wish you'd stop playing hard to get...rid of!

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Yes ... no!"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"The subwoofers really help."

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'...and on that you have my word.'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Clive Anderson

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

"We are looking for temps, but I'm afraid you're too temp for us."

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"So the year '2020' can also be written. . ."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

It's not that I don't care for you, but let's face it Larry. You have commitment issues.

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

"It's not long-term commitment, Kyle! I'll move in just for the hibernation."

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"This resume appears to cover only the last forty-five minutes."

'The Not so Great Escape.'

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

'Well, Phil, now do you know what recoil means?'

"And to think I used to worry about her showing up on our doorstep with a little bundle of joy..."

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!