Persistent Suitor Gifts

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

Impulse dating. A really bad idea.

'You are lucky, I've already refused to see five salesmen this morning.'

God hounded by the media.

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

Man flies with balloons to reach his angel

'Do you have anything for people who really can't help themselves?'

Biro Security

I wish you'd stop playing hard to get...rid of!

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

'...I'll be over there, waiting in the bushes.'

'Okay, so I'll ask someone else to marry me!'

"I'm only attracted to older women."

golfer in the rain

Signs.

"Since 1954, I've lost five sets of keys, eleven wallets, nine pairs of gloves, and thirty-two ball-point pens. Has any of that stuff ever turned up?"

"Get ready to run."

Trapped in the worst blind date of his life, John Glynn tries to chew his arm off at the shoulder.

'When Henry puts his mind to something there is no stopping him.'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"There's just no stopping George, is there?"

Marriage Bureau: 'I hope you're not just window shopping.'

Ask Sadie. Sadie: With bodies like ours, how do we measure for new Belly Putter????? - Jim; RPV, CA. *Actual reader question. This question is just as excellent as the previous sixteen times you sent it over the last 5 months, Jim … And I'd like to reward your tenacity by finally – at long last – answering it … But it seems we're out of time today. Is Sadie short for sadistic?