Periodic Pun Lover Pillows

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"You've passed with extinction!"

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'How 'bout you come back and say that to me in he spring?'

Hotness

'You tell me you're a sexual athlete and your first time at bat you strike out!'

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Weather forecast

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Larry's Literary Market.

The static electric eel is very rare.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

Pavement artist.