Performing Gifts

Things that bands can do

"Oh, for Pete's sake! He walks the walk and he talks the talk...MUST he also sing the songs?"

Antonio Vivaldi

"You people make me sick. Nonetheless, here's a little toe-tapper."

Rainbow Quartet

"The room is going to love you. Just be funny, serious, modest and cocky."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Bob's trick knee was an endless source of frustration.

They hated me.

'Are your knees knocking with stage fright?'

'He's my personal adviser...he's teaching me the air guitar.'

"Here's a little song I wrote in prison. Actually, I was at Motor Vehicle renewing my license, but it SEEMED like prison."

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

Man playing bum-note.

'Perkins! Quit goofin around and get back on this stage now!'

Spring Cleaning

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

Air guitar springs leak.

"I only feel truly alive when I'm on the stage."

'And I thought to myself: I spend my life laughing, why not try to make others laugh...'

Popera!

"Give me an F-Hashtag."

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

'Yeah, these work great...give me five dozen!'

"Next song's called Dirt-poor Boxcar Man which I wrote partly in the VIP lounge at JFK in my private limo on the way here tonight."

Tight-wire detour.

"Fred Hoskins-you've turned pro,then?"

'This hand puppet is ambidextrous. It can be used on either hand.'

'Why are they all staring at me?'

The band.

'You win.'

'Just remember lads, when the drummer misses a beat we all miss a beat.'

'If they don't laugh, we'll say it's art.'

'You doubtless remember my speech last year...'

Quartet.