Performer With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Choir Sections

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

Glance Exchange

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Dog Dressed to Eat

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Rap music

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.