Performer With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Choir Sections

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Another day at work would be one too many...

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

Rap music

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Glance Exchange

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Toy plane with pilot eject.